Monday, May 03, 2004

2:01 pm

Individual Earthquakes
(and lack of personal hygiene)


Today I met the new dissident Rabbi that so many of the Temple officials have been warning against.

Since then, I've been sitting and thinking, and thinking and sitting. I feel like I've been sleepwalking for the past fifty years, deceived by my own heart into walking the easy, empty, path, and now, I wonder if I'm waking up? My hands still have the same old lines, and yet they feel younger. My heart is beating faster and stronger, and my mind is turning like a chariot wheel. These eyes have seen a lot these last years, massive changes in our world, but today, I saw something I've not seen before; The Rabbi. The one who carries authority with dignity, whose reverence for God burns in his eyes, and leaks from his words as he speaks. I want to tell you about him.

I was on the way to the synagogue to pray, and I ran into a crowd, blocking one of the entrances. A lot of the people were excited, though a good number were either wanting to get through like I was, or just hanging out to see what was going on. As I worked my way through, I saw this guy talking and answering questions, surrounded by people. He looked a little scruffy, not like the law rabbis, always very smart and fastidious, but he had an air of composure and assertiveness about him, that made it clear he was somebody to be reckoned with.

I've seen a few men who radiate a presence like that - like an emperor. He captivated the whole group of people, completely entranced, - the whole area seemed pulled in towards him, like wheat pulled into a threshing wheel. The crowd offered little resistance, and as I got to the front I found one of the synagogue elders, Matthias, sitting, listening with wide eyes - a little child watching something astonishing. 'Jesus?' I questioned him in a whisper, as I wedged myself between him and somebody else. He nodded, barely looking at me, though keeping half an eye on the crowd.

Jesus had been the big news round here for the past few days, the gossip at the wells, and the discussions around the table. Of course traveling Rabbis come by the bushel, the more popular ones even come with their own crowd of followers, but this is the first I've seen who has his own crowd of traveling temple scholars and Pharisees from Jerusalem, following him around to discredit him, to give him a hard time. Personally, if I were Jesus I'd have set my followers on them a long time ago. I'm kind of pleased they are following him though, at least now - I might not have heard about Jesus enough to feed my curiosity if a couple of their number hadn't been in town a few days before to warn against him.

Jesus was talking with deep pre-occupation about the fore-fathers and prophets, and the call of God to them - their names and lives rolling from his tongue with familiarity, and pride and when he quoted scripture, I felt a joy, tinged with pain, reflected from him. I was so caught up with listening to the rabbi, that I didn't notice Matthias had slipped out until I saw why - the group of Jerusalem temple officials who were beginning to appear and huddle up together right on the very edge of the crowd.

They called out, interrupting him as he mused about Elijah's relationship with God.

'Rabbi',

A sneering mockery,

'Why is it that your disciples fail to wash their hands before they eat as the law commands.' Why should anyone listen to you, when your closest followers refuse to follow the law of Moses?'

When the one speaking had finished his question, he looked to his fellows around him for confirmation, and smiled, thin and self-congratulatory. You might have almost thought him happy, if not for the cold, hungry look in his eyes, and the sharp edge to his smugness.

As I kept my eyes on the Rabbi, as his face changed from one of rapt attention and absortion, to a sour expression, a bad taste look, like he'd eaten a sour fruit. He paused for a long moment, and we waited. I could hear people around me fidgeting. I could see the narrow smiles of the people who had asked the question. We waited.

When he spoke, his voice was different. His eyes had narrowed, and his voice was more directed. As commanding, but louder, each word echoing clearly around the room.

'Why do you insist, on breaking the very commands of God, for the sake of your own traditions?'

They looked like they would have liked to respond, but the violence of his rebuttal had caught them off balance, and he carried on forcefully.

'God's commands says 'Honour your father and mother', but what do you do? God demands that anyone who denounces his mother or father be put to death. What do you say?

God commands that we should honour our parents, - yet you self- parodying 'keepers of The Law', pronounce instead - that a man can say to his parents 'I have given to God, I have no obligation to you.' My disciples may waive some of man's laws, but in the rules you create, you negate the commands of God himself.

You frauds. The prophet was speaking of you and your kindred when he said;

'They speak up a big game, but when it comes to it, their hearts host a vacuum of godliness. Without a heart of worshipful intent, their praises are empty. Their rules are dry and brittle twigs, ready for the fire.''

Jesus was shouting as he finished, and silence hung heavy in the air. My ears were ringing shrilly and hands clenched nervously, and I think he sensed it. Never had I heard a rabbi attack his own people, the synagogue and temple authorities in this way. The crowd uncertain, sat and stood, waiting for a storm to gather. He leaned forward and spoke, softly almost apologetically, though unashamed - , directly to the people seated in front of him. Everyone, myself included, leaned in towards him to listen. The Jerusalemites hovered cautiously and furious, unable to respond. I sat, perched on the edge of my seat, hanging on for his words.

'We need to learn to recognize, that what we put into our mouths cannot make us unclean. What makes us unclean in God's eyes, is not what we do, but who we are. It is what comes out of our mouths that makes us unclean, not what we ingest.'

A lot of his energy drained, and for a fleeting moment, he looked tired.

I was blown away - I still am, my head spinning. The law did not make us clean? Really? While I was at it- what about the original question - did his disciples not keep the law? Were it not for the sheer presence of the Rabbi himself, the force and passion with which he stood, I might have dismissed it. I felt tired - I tried to drop it - I couldn't. I sat there as the crowd dispersed, everyone a little uncertain what to do, and beginning to go about their business. After a little while, one of the Pharisees who remained caught my eye, shooting an eagle look of discontentedness in my direction, and I went outside and wandered around the square.

I felt rather stunned as I wandered aimlessly around the flagstones. Such authority, and such concepts. The daring of his speech was matched only by the uncomfortable feeling inside of me, of not quite understanding but believing nonetheless of feeling so very right, and so very wrong at the same time. Never before have I heard a man who could talk with such involvement about the commands of God, yet hold so loosely to the law, so Godly a man, though so different from the teachers of the law, and the normal traveling Rabbis.

As I walked my feet stumbled. I bumped into a woman walking with her child and didn’t even notice till she had gone, my stomach churning and my chest tight, barely breathing. I left the square, as my mind went round and round. Who could I talk to about it? My family, the synagogue leaders, - did Matthias hear anything after he moved? What would he say? I was so pre-occupied I almost tripped over his disciples feet before I saw them.

I backtracked quickly, and sat down a few steps away from the disciples, - though I think they were too wrapped up to notice me. They were talking fiercely, if quietly about the reaction of the keepers of the law, and about what Jesus had said - though it sounded like they were almost as confused as I was. I wondered fleetingly, if, traveling with Jesus, confusion was something that they had become used to? Certainly at least some of them were rethinking their attention to the law, and worrying about the reaction of the temple authorities. I got the impression that they took their lead from Jesus, and had let things lapse over time, but didn't have the intent, and well thought-out reasonings that Jesus seemed to.

After a while of sitting, as I was beginning to wonder about going, the rabbi appeared, and his disciples welcomed him eclectically. They had agreed that they needed to talk to him, and after a while one called Peter broached the subject warily. 'Rabbi, I'm not sure you realize how offended the Pharisees were, with what you said to them, and to the people. When we saw them afterwards they were about ready to explode, and take out the whole town.' Another - Thaddeus I think, chipped in - 'We're worried Lord about what they might do, and the trouble they will cause. These are influential men you're angering.'

I'm not surprised they were worried, the law makers had been whispering furiously, and most of them had headed off to Jerusalem shortly afterwards. Jesus wasn't having any of it though- in fact he didn't even show he had heard, until Peter pressed him again.

Astoundingly, he wasn't bothered. 'Ignore them'. With a half smile he shrugged. They are of no consequence. My Father in heaven will root out every plant he has not himself tended and planted, - in his own time.

They claim to lead others, yet they themselves are blind. Both they and those who follow them will inevitably fall down a hole. They cannot show people the things of God, when they themselves can't see.'

Several of the disciples looked down at their feet, one or two looked hopefully at Peter.

'I don't understand', he said, 'can't you tell us just this once in plain language'.

On reflection I wonder if his disciples weren’t feeling some of the shock I was - I don't imagine they would get away with that every often - or even want to.

Jesus sighed and looked directly at him. 'All of you as well? Do you have to work at being this so? 'When something is eaten, it works it's way through, and eventually comes out and leaves the body.'

'When a man speaks though, what he says, and the attitudes that come with it, spring from the sentiment of his heart, - and from the heart comes all that will make a man unclean; evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, thefts, lies and slander.

Washing your hands!?! The rules of the teachers of the law are only devices of men - God works though the heart.'

All my life I've followed the laws of God - or do I mean the rules of man? I've read the scriptures. I've tithed and I've given my share to the poor. I've tried to go above and beyond - to please my God. Was it in vain?

This man owned the stories he told and they lived in his words. He carried himself like a prophet, - and yet, told his disciples the law was a creation of men. If the law is not of God, how do we live? If we stop washing our hands, what else do we stop - where does it end?

Will we still be Jews?

First thing in the morning, I'm going to go and see Matthias - I need to know I'm not the only one feeling this stuff. If what I heard was really what he said - that I can really believe my ears - and perhaps - that someone else has had the same thoughts and feelings about him I have. Has anyone else been impacted this much?

'My Father in heaven.' 'God works though the heart.' 'Our actions do not make us unclean - but the sentiments of our hearts.' This is language, I have never heard. How is my heart? I have kept all of the commandments since I was a boy. Am I a weed to be uprooted - or can I know my God in the way the Rabbi spoke of. If I seek the right heart, can I know God in this way? Can my heart please God - rather than my action - like this Jesus has, could it be he loves me like he did Elijah?

Tomorrow I must find out more - find his disciples, speak to someone, find out what this means, how do I hear more of Jesus teaching - maybe even speak to Jesus? Whatever happens tomorrow, with the temple, the Jerusalemites, Matthias, his disciples, I know that I am different. I know that I stand in a different light; that I have seen a glimpse of something I cannot leave be. That I must do whatever it takes to find more and know more of how even I can find Yaweh, through this Jesus.

When the rabbi had finished speaking, his followers changed the subject pretty quickly - and they talked for a long time - but light hearted stuff - though with long silences; pre-occupied and not wanting to face it. After a while, the Rabbi- - who had remained quiet, went off on his own, and I came home.

They went right back to Jerusalem- the Pharisees and law-makers that is. They were incandescent with fury - not just at how he routed them - but at what he said, and despite his dismissal of it, I think he may have pushed them too far.

I don't know what will happen. Even though the Rabbi seemed withdrawn afterwards, his eyes burned with passion and certainty, and having seen that, and looked into his eyes, even with my confusion, I share some of that certainty, and some of that hope, of a greater joy than I have known, and a life of interesting times.



The Diurnal Jesus Embelished Version

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